What are your strengths? What are your spouse’s strengths? What areas are you stronger than your spouse and what areas are your spouse stronger than you? Now that you have thought about each other’s relative strengths are you using that information to align your family resources of time and energy for your highest probability of success?
Some years ago, before GPS and navigational directions were available through everyone’s phone, I set my family up for frustration and pain. In our family, I am stronger than my wife at reading maps and navigation. She could do it, but I had more training and it was just easier for me. As drivers, we were probably near equal. Looking back, I now realize that out of my selfishness I set us up for failure when I could have set us up for success.
Because I liked to drive, I was driving and by default my wife was left to navigate. We were trying to find our way around Knoxville for the first time. We had maps, a destination, and a meeting time, but we had never been there before and were unfamiliar with the roads. When I realized I had missed an important turn, I became furious with my navigator in front of our kids. That was a very unloving thing to do.
If we would have leaned on our relative strengths, I would have navigated and my wife would have driven. That would have meant I gave up something I liked to do for the good of our team. It would have been much better for our team had I not exploded at my wife and we would have not missed the turn.
What is your story about leaning or failing to lean into relative strengths?