The Bible has much to say about parenting, but most of what it says is in the context of wisdom and consideration of others. The way I counted them, there are only about 30 specific instructions from God to parents. I was able to place many of those instructions into three categories, two of which are typified by Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, [1] do not exasperate your children; instead, [2] bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. But there was another instruction that I do not think I had ever before realized was a direction until I searched the Scriptures looking for specific instructions.
Moreover, that instruction was repeated at least 5 times. When studying the Bible, I consider everything in the book important. If something is repeated, that makes it very important. When something is repeated 5 or more times it is very very important, and we should take serious note. By my count, God directed parents to “tell your children” what He has done at least 5 times!
Let’s take a look.
- Exodus 12:26 And when your children ask you, ‘What does this ceremony mean to you?’ then tell them, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians. ‘” (NIV 84)[1] (emphasis added)
- Exodus 13:8 tell your son, ‘I do this because of what the LORD did for me….’ (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
- Exodus 13:13-15 say to him [your son], ‘With a mighty hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.’ (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
- Deuteronomy 4:3, 9 You saw with your own eyes what the Lord did at Baal Peor. … Teach them to your children and to their children after them. (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
- Deuteronomy 6:20-21 tell him [your son]: … the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
- Joel 1:2-3 Has anything like this ever happened in your days or in the days of your forefathers? Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
What is God’s purpose in these instructions? I have come to believe that the commands of God are invitations to grow in relationship with Him, because it takes partnership with Him for us to fulfill them. In these directions God is inviting us to partner with Him to make Him known to our children. When our eyes are open to see Him in our circumstances, then we can help our children see Him too. As they grow in experience they will learn to see God’s hand at work in their lives.
How we got started
I am not a Jew and do not have the heritage of God’s deliverance from Egypt. In other words, that is not my story. As I considered what do I tell my children I realized the key was in Exodus 10. At verses 1 and 2 we see:
EX 10:1-2 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the LORD. (NIV 84) (emphasis added)
That is, God does things that we may tell our children and grandchildren so they may know Him as the LORD.
I could tell our children of times when God did something for our family. I could also point out for our children their own “this is that” moments when God answered a prayer or intervened in some way. I could establish that part of our family’s legacy was the reality of God’s active involvement in our lives. I could help our children remember what God had done.
It is one thing to see with our physical eyes what is happening; it is something more to see with understanding that our Heavenly Father cares about us and is active in our lives answering prayers, protecting us, providing for our needs, strengthening us, opening and closing doors for us. Before this could be a part of our children’s lives, it had to be part of mine.
May 1st that year I made a list in my journal of 29 stories that I could tell about God doing something for someone in our family. Those stories became a key feature of our family devotional time. During the week I would tell one of the stories as part of our devotional time. On Fridays, I would call on one or more of the children to retell one of the stories I had shared earlier that week.
For example, one of those stories was about our daughter Sarah. When Sarah was 10 years old, her grandparents offered to take her on a trip to Florida. While most kids would be focused on going to Disney World, what Sarah wanted most was to go to the beach and collect seashells. As we prayed about her trip, I had a check in my spirit about how I was praying regarding the weather. It seemed that rather than asking for nice sunny days with pleasant temperatures, I was to ask for the “perfect” weather. When Sarah and her grandparents got to Florida there was stormy weather. That storm discouraged much of the crowds from attending Disney World. So, our daughter got short lines at Disney World. When they went to beach to look for seashells, they found many large shells. My wife’s aunt and uncle who lived there said they had not seen shells like that for years. Apparently, the storm at sea had brought the shells up to the shore.
To be honest, our first attempts at this were a little bumpy. But we are encouraged to not despise the day of small beginnings. As our children left home for college, we felt they were better equipped to stand and support their faith if challenged in class or by peers. They were also more likely to turn to God with the normal challenges that occur in the transition to adulthood. Today, we are all more aware of God’s working in our lives because we are looking and watching.
All six of our children, who now range in age from 25-38, attended secular colleges. None of them walked away from the faith. Each is walking with the Lord and active in their own church. Each considers their faith an important part of who they are. I think each will tell you that their faith grew stronger during their college years because they knew that the LORD was LORD.
May the LORD give you experiential knowledge of His will and delight that you live your lives pleasing to Him, bearing much good fruit to the glory of His holy name.
[1] Other translations such as ESV and NASB use phrases like, “say to them” rather than “tell them”.